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Things my children say
"I Spy with my little eye something begining with L"

"no, stop being silly mum" Angry
"ok then!, Leg as it table leg?"
me getting a tad irritated.Confused...Mary chimes in with..."ok is it a lashes as in eyelashes?"
"no Mary...its eyelashes not lashes!"Angry
"ok we give up can't see anything else begining with L Sad
"ok you all give up?" Cool
"yes what is it?" Huh

"Alarm!" Big Grin

"Alarm doesn't begin with L it begins with an A!"

"Mum don't be silly its A Larm isn't it?" Dodgy

"Ummmmm no Amy! thats what it has Alarm on it!" RolleyesUndecided Confused
Name three fruits beginning with an N....

A Napple

A Norange

And A Nana
"My granddad has loads of lines on his forehead, so he can screw his cap on!" Smile
Give me a fiver dad....... PLEEEEEEASE Wink
Best wishes



my oldest daughter is not the brightest bulb in the box.. but I laughed for ages after this...

Daughter "Mum? where is Hong Kong?"

Me "Where do you think it is?"

Daughter "Is it in Japan? or is it China?"

Me "You don't know which Country its in?"

Daughter "no!"

Me "well it used to be British til a few years ago"

Daughter "So its near Britain?"

Me "Ummm no its under China now.. clue?"

Daughter "So its in China?"

Me "Wel no not IN China, near it"

Looks at map to show where Hong Komg and China is...ask Mary to see if she can point it out...a few minutes later..

Daughter "so where is it? middle of China right?" Huh

Me "No next to it.. its an Island" Undecided

Daughter looks at me as if I'm mad "No its not you're joking with me.. you said its in China!" Dodgy

Me "No I said its part of China.. near it"

I point it out to her...

Daughter "oh its small eh? I thought it was a big place.. like China!" Sad

and to think she is taking Geography higher (A Level) at school sheesh I give up!Rolleyes lol
So...What potatoes shall we have with evening meal? (meaning mashed, roast etc)
Answer was "round ones" !!! ...

Give me strength!!!!!!!!
A true conversation between myself and a girl that shall remain nameless (mainly because I forgot her name). This conversation happened whilst listening to Guns & Roses on the radio:

Me: You know what this is?
Her: Oh, I dunno.
Me: It's Live And Let Die.
Her: Oh yeah I knew that! It's by, er, Aerosmith?
Me: No. Guns & Roses.
Her: Oh. Right. I knew that.
Me: You know who did it originally?
Her: No.
Me: It was written by Paul McCartney and used in a Bond film.
Her: I thought I'd heard it in a film before! Which Bond film?
Me: Live And Let Die.
Her: Of course. I remember now. Who is Paul McCartney?
Me: He was in The Beatles.
Her: The Beatles? Oh yeah. With Ringo and that! But they split up because one of them left didn't they?
Me: Er no. They didn't split up. They just didn't do anything after about 1969. John Lennon later died.
Her: Oh that's a shame. What did he die of?
Me: Well, he was shot.
Her: Who shot him? Why?
Me: He was shot by Mark Chapman. I don't know why but I think the general consensus is, he was a bit of a crackpot.
Her: How do you know all these things?
Me: Well, aside from the fact that my best mate at primary school was called Mark Chapman and kept telling everyone he shot John Lennon, it's fairly common knowledge.
Her: Your mate shot John Lennon? Oh my God!
Me: I'm leaving now.
Her: You don't want to have s£x with me?
Me: No thankyou. Goodbye.

Needless to say, Higher Ince should have warning signs!!!

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